Dun Lie to Mah Mah

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than meet the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."

So he sat down and wrote:

Dear Mother, I'm not saying you "did" take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you "did not" take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner.

Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read:

Dear Son, I'm not saying that you "do" sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you "do not" sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now.
Love,
Mom

Fall in Love

As mentioned previously, here are some excerpts from lawyer Adrian Tan about the last thing to do when your life is over:

"I didn't say 'be loved'. That requires too much compromise. If one changes one's looks, personality and values, one can be loved by anyone."

"Modern society is anti-love. We've taken a microscope to everyone to bring out their flaws and shortcomings."

"It is far easier to find a reason not to love someone, than otherwise. Rejection requires only one reason. Love requires complete acceptance. It is hard work...."

"Despite popular culture, love doesn't happen by chance, at first sight, across a crowded dance floor. It grows slowly, sinking roots first before branching and blossoming..."

"You will find that it is no great tragedy if your love is not reciprocated. You are not doing it to be loved back."

"Finally, you will find that there is no half-measure when it comes to loving someone. You either don't or you do with every cell in your body, completely and utterly, without reservation or apology."

The Coming of Age Textbook

Juz saw the article on lawyer Adrian Tan on TNP yesterday. Quite pleased with what he wrote, another enlightened soul who knows that Life is all about.....

"If you expect that, you will be limiting yourself. You will be living your life according to boundaries set by average people....."

"What you should prepare for is mess. Life's a mess. You are not entitled to expect anything from it. LIFE IS NOT FAIR. EVERYTHING DOES NOT BALANCE OUT IN THE END. LIFE HAPPENS, AND YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT...."

He proceeds to mention some of the things we should do: Do not work, Be wary of the truth, be hated and fall in love. I happen to like the last a lot, especially certain of his aphorisms. This enlightened soul happens to have great aphorisms.

"LIFE IS NOT FAIR. EVERYTHING DOES NOT BALANCE OUT IN THE END. LIFE HAPPENS, AND YOU HAVE NO CONTROL OVER IT...."

Wad the full quote should be

WORK like you don't need the money,
LOVE like you've never been hurt,
DANCE like nobody's watching,
SING like nobody's listening &
LIVE like it's heaven on earth

Corporate Lesson Number Three

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold,the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it.

As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

The morals of this story are:
1) Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, keep your mouth SHUT!

Corporate Lesson Number Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull.

"They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon, he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Moral of the story:
Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

Corporate Lesson Number One

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?"

The crow answered: "Sure, why not?"

So, the Rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting VERY, VERY high up.

Happy Now

We convince ourselves that life will be better after we get married, have a baby, then another. Then we are frustrated that the kids aren't old enough and we'll be more content when they are.

After that, we're frustrated that we have teenagers to deal with. We will certainly be happy when they are out of that stage. We tell ourselves that our life will be complete when our spouse gets his or her act together, when we get a nicer car, when we are able to go on a nice vacation or when we retire.

The truth is there's no better time to be happy than right now.
If not now, when?
Your life will always be filled with challenges.

It's best to admit this to yourself and decide to be happy anyway.
Happiness is the way.
So, treasure every moment that you have and treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time with .. and remember that time waits for no one.

So, stop waiting .
Until your car or home is paid off.
Until you get a new car or home.
Until your kids leave the house.
Until you go back to school.
Until you finish school.
Until you lose 10 lbs.
Until you gain 10 lbs.
Until you get married.
Until you get a divorce.
Until you have kids.
Until you retire.
Until summer..
Until spring.
Until winter.
Until fall.
Until you die.

There is no better time than right now to be happy.

Happiness is a journey, not a destination.
~ So work like you don't need money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like no one's watching ~

Dinner

Had a great dinner wif ya guys!!!!

Wee Teck & wife, Elizabeth and Cheryl.....Dat was fun....
Of course, without the constant bombardment.....and jokes about me....

We had to order so much food that as Lao Po says; its like a 10 course wedding dinner.......Yong tau foo & noodles....Fried Oyster....Char kway teow....Fried dumplings.....Wu Xiang....Popiah....Fried carrot cake.....Wah lau....will really die from the food siah....

N please disturb me less....I dun haf so much scandals or news for you all to make fun of..especially with the impossible people.....not to mention that I'm really not distracted by other people....

^_^

True Friendship

True Friendship is like sound health; the value is seldom known until it's lost!

I hope I dun lose any true friendship from those around me.......

On the other hand, who will lose mine???

^_^

Giving & Receiving Traffic

I remembered telling Luzhi about the traffic theory for all relationships, be it friendship or love.

Traffic for relationship is a two-way traffic, you need to give the other party; similarly, you need to receive from the other party. For example, you can initiate a conversation with the other party all the time. If they do not strike one with you, soon, you will feel depleted. This is becoz you will feel unappreciated.

A man's greatest emotional need is to feel appreciated.

So, a big thanks to Shikin. For MSN me. Usually, I'm the one who had to take the initiative to give traffic to other colleagues. Juz a simple MSN asking if I need her moral support was touching and gave me traffic...Thanks!!!

^_^

Rebirth

20/08/2008 - What a miracle!!! 2008 2008!!

I've finally grown up......No more childish behaviour....no more disturbing people.....no more making people happy at own expense.....

Welcome....the new me........

^_^